Robin Hood: Tortallan Style
by Superkoala89
Summary: Next in the series of Tortallan fairy tales. Just like Cinderella: Tortallan Style only Robin Hood.
1. Interrobangs

A/N I own nothing of value to you people. Which means that I do not own these characters, Tamora Pierce does.  
  
This story is based on the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights. I do no own it at all.  
  
I am also sorry if this is a little too weird for some people. Queen of Fluff and I wrote this at a midnight party at school.  
  
While reading this, do NOT think of ages. We mixed all the characters together. Also, do not think of any marriages because those do not exist.  
  
There may be flirting between certain characters that happen in the books, but the author will tell them off for doing so.  
  
Also, this is the second story in a Disney or fairy tale movies turned Tortallan  
  
written by myself and Lady Nicolia of Conte.  
  
So far this series includes  
  
Cinderella: Tortallan Style by Queen of Fluff  
  
Robin Hood: Tortallan Style by Spawn of Satan  
  
Aladdin: Tortallan Style by Queen of Fluff  
  
******  
  
Robin Hood: Tortallan Style  
  
Narrator: Here we are for the first ever Tortallan performance of Robin Hood.  
  
Cast of Characters:  
  
Robin of Foxely: Nealan of Queenscove  
  
Maid Marrianne: Keladry of Mindelan  
  
Achoo: Gareth of Naxen  
  
Will: Domitan of Masbolle  
  
Blinkin: Wyldon of Cavall  
  
Little John: Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak  
  
Prince Jon: (yeah right) George Cooper  
  
King Richard: Jonathan of Conte (oh yeah!)  
  
Latrine (think of the witch with a crush on the sheriff): Graveyard Hag  
  
Sheriff of Tortingham: Cleon of Kennan (obviously)  
  
Brunhilda (Maid Marrianne's lady-in-waiting [nanny]): Alanna of Trebond  
  
Rabbi or Wine Guy: Numair Salmalin  
  
Mafia: Claw, Roger, Ozorne, Delia  
  
These are only major characters. You may see a few that you recognize that are not posted here.  
  
***  
  
Neal of Foxely walked back to his castle, only to find bare land.  
  
"Where's my house?!?!?!?!?" he cried.  
  
The Lord Provost walked up to him. "Here," he said shortly as he handed him a small stack of papers.  
  
"An eviction notice?" Neal asked as he flipped through many, many sheets of paper. "What?!? They can't do this to me! I pay taxes for crying out loud! I participate in riots for Mithros' sake!"  
  
"A thousand apologies, Queenscove. Ooops, I mean, um, Foxely," the Provost corrected after receiving a vicious glare from the writer. He shifted nervously. "Could you please stop the interrobangs!?!?!?! Crap! Look what you did!?!?! Crap again. I'm leaving." The Provost runs off, leaving Neal of Foxely standing, stunned on the dirt road.  
  
  
  
"Wait! You can't leave! Tell me what happened to my house!!!" he shouted after him.  
  
"I can't hear you! Lalalalalallalalalalallala!" he shrieked, his fingers in his ears, not once stopping or turning.  
  
"Crap........" he cursed vehemently under his breath. 


	2. Sheriff of Tortingham

A/N Don't nothing!   
  
Hi! I am actually writing again! It's amazing! Here's the story!  
  
  
Robin Hood: Tortallan Style  
  
  
Cast of Characters:  
  
Robin of Foxely: Nealan of Queenscove  
  
Maid Marrianne: Keladry of Mindelan  
  
Achoo: Gareth of Naxen  
  
Will: Domitan of Masbolle  
  
Blinkin: Wyldon of Cavall  
  
Little John: Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak  
  
Prince Jon: (yeah right) George Cooper  
  
King Richard: Jonathan of Conte (oh yeah!)  
  
Latrine (think of the witch with a crush on the sheriff): Graveyard Hag  
  
Sheriff of Tortingham: Cleon of Kennan (obviously)  
  
Brunhilda (Maid Marian's lady-in-waiting [nanny]): Alanna of Trebond  
  
Rabbi or Wine Guy: Numair Salmalin  
  
Mafia: Claw, Roger, Ozorne, Delia  
  
These are only major characters. You may see a few that you recognise that   
are not posted here.  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
  
Neal: *crying* My house! My poor house! My beautiful house! Gone! It's gone!  
*continues ranting*  
  
Gary: Hey, man. Wazzup?  
  
Neal: Huh? Oh, my house is gone! *bursts out crying again*  
  
Gary: That's too bad, dude.  
  
Neal: I know! What's your name?  
  
Gary: Achoo.  
  
Neal: Bless you.  
  
Gary: No that's my name, dude. Yours?  
  
Neal: Robin of Foxly  
  
Gary: Hello, bird-fox.  
  
Neal: *sarcastically* Ha ha ha.  
  
[Sheriff and his men ride up]  
  
Cleon: I am the sheriff of Tortingham and you are, uuhhhh, what's my line?  
  
Writer: *whispers to Cleon* You are trespassing on land which is not yours and we  
don't like you very much.  
  
Cleon: *slaps forehead* Oh, yeah! *serious voice* You are trespassing on land which   
is not yours and we don't like you very much.  
  
Gary: *raises eyebrows*  
  
Neal: Well, then we should duel.  
  
Cleon: Yeah, well, I'm too busy for that right now.  
  
Neal: I challenge you to.............uhhmmmm, let's see.....hmmmm..........aha! The Drag  
Queen competition!  
  
Cleon: Huh?  
  
Neal: It's simple really. We compete to see who can dress up most like a woman. The   
one who looks the best is the winner.  
  
Cleon: *shrugs* Alright.  
  
[Both men go behind privacy curtains that magically appeared from no where and dress   
up] [Robin comes out first. He looks the same, but with his hair combed.] [Sheriff   
comes out in a pink muslin lace dress, high heels, mascara, eye shadow, jewels, lip stick,   
etc]  
  
Everyone: *laughs at Cleon*  
  
Cleon: *outraged and blushing* Stop before I shoot you all!  
  
Neal: Shoot with what? A gun?  
  
Cleon: Yes, a gun!  
  
Neal: Too bad. They haven't been invented yet.  
  
Cleon: *mumbles* Jerk.  
  
Gary: *hides laughs*  
  
[Sheriff and men ride off]  
  
Neal: That went well.  
  
Gary: I agree.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry, I know it was a little weird. Lady Alanna S of C helped me figure out   
ideas. We have plans for the next chapter. *grins evilly*  
  
  
  
^~^ LIGER & LADY QUEENSCOVE^~^ 


	3. Heeeeeeereeeeee's Blinkin!

A/N I, unfortunately, don't own anybody in the Tamora Pierce books....wahhhh!!!!!  
  
  
  
Robin Hood: Tortallan Style  
  
Narrator: Here we are for the first ever Tortallan performance of Robin Hood.  
  
Cast of Characters:  
  
Robin of Foxely: Nealan of Queenscove  
  
Maid Marrianne: Keladry of Mindelan  
  
Achoo: Gareth of Naxen  
  
Will: Domitan of Masbolle  
  
Blinkin: Wyldon of Cavall  
  
Little John: Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak  
  
Prince John: (yeah right) George Cooper  
  
King Richard: Jonathan of Conte (oh yeah!)  
  
Latrine (think of the witch with a crush on the sheriff): Graveyard Hag  
  
Sheriff of Tortingham: Cleon of Kennan (obviously)  
  
Brunhilda (Maid Marrianne's lady-in-waiting [nanny]): Alanna of Trebond  
  
Rabbi or Wine Guy: Numair Salmalin  
  
Mafia: Claw, Roger, Ozorne, Delia  
  
These are only major characters. You may see a few that you recognise that   
are not posted here.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Neal and Gary walk down a path and come to a bridge*  
  
* a tall, large person is standing on the bridge*  
  
Raoul: Who goes there?  
  
Neal: Robin of Foxely and Achoo uhhhhhmmmm.......  
  
Raoul: Bless you.  
  
Neal: What?  
  
Gary: No, Achoo is my name! Mithros! Nobody can ever get it right!  
  
Neal: Can we pass?  
  
Raoul: I don't know, can you?  
  
Neal: *thinks for a few minutes* MAY we pass?  
  
Raoul: I could let you pass, but I won't.   
  
Gary: And why freakin' not?  
  
Raoul: because.....because.....*sniff* I don't have any money to buy myself new ballet slippers! *sobs*  
  
Neal: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Achoo-  
  
Raoul: Bless you.  
  
Neal: Thank you. Achoo-  
  
Raoul: Bless you.  
  
Neal: That's enough! Him *gestures at Gary* and I are going to go to the castle to speak to Prince John about all this.  
  
Raoul: *sniff* Okay. You can pass.   
  
*Neal and Gary walk through*   
  
Raoul: I want you to meet someone who may help you. His name is Will and he is a master of the dagger.   
  
*Dom pops out of the bushes*  
  
Dom: You bet, Little John!!!  
  
Neal: LITTLE John??????  
  
Raoul: Yep.  
  
Dom: I'm one of the best! *does fancy dagger throwing move* *messes up and gives Gary a crew cut*  
  
Gary: *faints*  
  
Neal: Achoo!  
  
Raoul: Bless you.  
  
Neal: Ummmmmmm...........Line?  
  
Writer: I don't think you have one. *reads script book* Wait! You say, "Where are my knickers?"  
  
Neal: *confused* Oh well. *clears throat* Where are my knickers?  
  
Wyldon: Master, where are you???? *stumbles around searching for Neal, hands out stretched*  
  
Neal: Blinken?  
  
Wyldon: Master Robin???  
  
Neal: Blinken, you look like the eviction dude.  
  
Wyldon: I do?? *grabs fake mustache and puts it on*  
  
Neal: Better.  
  
Writer: Ahem! Oh sorry, your line is...*checks script book* You laugh.  
  
Neal: Okay. Here goes. *clears throat* Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Writer: Wrong kind of laugh, Neal.   
  
Neal: Okay, how about this? *giggles in high pitched voice*  
  
Writer: No, no, no, no!!!   
  
Neal: *deep laugh* *high laugh* *laughs through nose* *snickers*  
  
Writer: That's it!  
  
Neal: This? *snickers*  
  
Writer: Yes.  
  
Neal: *snickers*  
  
Writer: Finally. Can we PLEASE move on to scene 4 now?  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N I need only say one word.......REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
^~^Liger and Lady Queenscove^~^ *crowds cheers* 


End file.
